yearning

I want my life to leave an imprint of hope and love and imagining on mankind. I want the effect to be bigger than my life itself, and to last until the Maker comes back to make all the broken things right.

I want to leverage life's possibilites to make humanity better. I want my daughters to exceed me in every way.

The(partial) plan: To move to LA and get into a two year acting program. When that's done, to study more. And more. To become a vibrant part of the Mosaic community. To get a hole-in-the-wall apartment and a car that runs. To find a fantastic school for my girls. To make enough money doing what I love to be able to take care of my daughters and keep doing what I love. To develop real friendships and genuine love for the city.

The bigger plan: To go as deeply into this one craft as a human can. To learn to maximize the moments I have left on this planet.
To live with absolute fullness.

The problem: I know exactly what I want to do with my life and have no practical means to get there. I am going through a divorce. I have no moolah. Don't do well with cars - they keep breaking until there are no more to break. Car-less. Zero funds.
The bigger problem: It would be much, much, much easier to give up. But I refuse to.