'H' is for Henry(or 'hope')

It was the middle of production on the One Story Pictures project. After a long day I went back to my Mom's, tiptoed in and kissed the girls, then fell into bed. I was barely asleep around 1am when the phone rang.
It was my aunt saying that Dolly had just died. She was on her way to the store to buy puppy formula..
Dolly was my Grandma's bishon frise and gentle companion. I'm not a fan of small dogs generally, but she was sweet by anyone's standards. And my Grandma *loved* her.
She had given birth to three puppies two days earlier, one of which was stillborn. She hadn't been acting normally, but her death was sudden and unexpected. Though she was weak and dying, her last act was to pull herself into the enclosure with her puppies. She died nursing them.
I threw stuff in a bag when I got off the phone with my aunt and drove the winding, fog-thick back roads to Grandma's. She was so sad and exhausted. We got to work trying to keep the puppies warm and alive. I held them against my chest for a long time until Jen arrived with the formula that *might* mean their survival. They seemed impossibly small and vulnerable and alone.
On the day that they were born, Ginger and Willow(who were there to see it) were given the task of names..'Henry' and 'Leash-ey' finally started eating from the tiny dropper we offered them.

I slept for a few hours in the early morning before going to the movie set.

After a few days it became obvious that Leash-ey wasn't going to make it, and before long Henry was the only one left.

The whole thing reminded me piercingly of that horrible sinking feeling When Things Fall Apart.

But today, when I was invited back to the same house where we cried and desperately tried to stop the breaking of life not long ago...I saw a healthy, even *fat* Henry.
Alone.
But not really.
And thriving.

Holding him today reminded me of something I really believe, and has been true in my life:

In the middle of the shit, When Things Fall Apart...

when you feel impossibly small, and vulnerable, and alone...

a sliver of hope usually survives

and grows

alone

but not really...

and eventually, you thrive again.

happy days go spinning by

I've waited a long time to feel at home again..these small things help in ways I can't explain. Just wanted to show you..

Those of you who live close should stop by and visit us...and those of you in Nashville, California, Ohio, Ann Arbor, Chicago, Hungary, Peru, Iowa City, and Connecticut should make us a stop on your travel path.. I'll make you tea or pour some red wine, and you can meet Chester the neighborhood cat..

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Favorite moments are never planned. Here are three that I was lucky enough to catch on a recent girls' day:

An Absence......(and finally)Home. :)

After we finished filming two short films last week and the bohemian actors/crew scattered in all directions, I set myself to the task of moving into our new apartment and starting a new job.

The great news is that we are in, overnights and all, and loving our new place.
It has been almost two years since we've had a home that's ours. It hasn't been easy at times to keep a good attitude about that. I still can't believe that we have the place, that it's *our place*..it feels so hopeful. sweet.
The sad news(for me) is that I will not have much internet access for a while until I get a computer. So I won't be in touch as often as I'd like.

So, please forgive me if it takes days to respond to emails and comments. For now, it would seem that we ought to communicate primarily via singing telegram.

Or cell phone.

But I will be back as often as I can, and hopefully soon will have things back to normal.
Thanks to everyone who reads this start-and-stop clumsy blog..I am really grateful for you.

Here's a picture of the girls at our first breakfast at HOME.
:)

Ryan, Ang, & Maya

My new favorite picture of one of my very favorite families.





I feel so lucky to have them as cousins(and 'second-cousin), and more importantly, as dear friends.