happy thanksgiving

Today's family gathering felt weird to me - I've never spent a holiday without my daughters, and they are with their dad this weekend. I am happy that they will experience the normalcy of the family traditions they are used to at his grandparents' house. But it's just strange to spend Thanksgiving apart from the two things I'm most thankful for.
If you knew my daughters, you'd sense how special they are..touched by the divine, destined for lives of brilliance, spreading love and truth. You'd know that Willow is always thinking, always questioning. That she, at 4, has the beginnings of great wisdom. You'd see the vulnerability of her heart, the gift of it's tenderness and the risk of it's sensitivity to hurt. You'd be amazed by her eyes, like two perfect shining grey-green river stones. You'd know how hard these past months have been for her, and you'd weep when you couldn't make sense of it for her.
If you knew Ginger, you would laugh at how her name captures her temperment: sweet, strong, disarmingly spicy. You'd know that she is filled with passionate expression, propelling her to stormy tantrums and joyful exclamations. You would see how she captures the hearts of people everywhere she goes. You would remember the day this fall when she stood in the yard, threw her head back and commanded the wind to go where she wanted it to. You would know that she, at 2, lives expectantly, expressively, explosively.
And, if you were entrusted with the honor of being their mother, you would feel the weight of that divine responsibility, you would understand your vast shortcomings, you would beg God for wisdom equal to the task. You would know that these children will become strong, courageous, captivating women..more in spite of you than because of you. And you would be grateful to know that your body is where they were conceived, protected and nourished, brought into the world. That you got to be a vessel for these beautiful travelers. You'd pray every day,
bless them. protect them. use them.