Cookie Dough(a tale of woe)

After a week of fending off the girls' colds while bolstering our immune systems with a witch's brew of echinacea, vitamin c, ginger root, zinc, and throat coat tea...several nights spent counting the seconds between coughs and debating whether to medicate..
the addition of a humidifier and aromatherapy oil nightlight provided by a very thoughtful Daniel..which made their bedroom a much more breathable space..
they are feeling considerably better.
A couple of days later I came down with what they had, complete with a cough that makes me see pretty shapes behind my eyelids and sounds like there's a barfight in my chest featuring a giant bullfrog and a jaded(not to mention drunk) old pirate. If you're interested, the frog is winning. I love experiencing light as art, and admit to a vague fascination with barfights, but currently could do without these displays...

Right now I'm about to drink something which is sure to taste alarming but equally sure to help me get better faster.

ugh.

yep. tastes like roadkill. that must mean it's working.

p.s. do not buy the tea tree oil/zinc lozenges at the health food store just because they're in the clearance bin and you're tired/sick/impressionable..and the guy with the guaged ear discs agrees with the beautiful earth mamma salesgirl that "these things are great for your throat"..my taste buds have asked me to tell the world: the fact is, no matter how well they work, it's just. not. worth. it.

oh, wait - this post is about cookies.
So, I bought cookie dough from my daughter's preschool class fundraiser because Doggonit I'm a Good Mom, and am currently whispered about as the One Mom in class(you know how there's always one mom who just doesn't quite have it together? Late, disorganized, generally clueless but obviously trying?). That's me. But I think I've definitely earned some points after buying not one but TWO tubs of nutritionally void cookie dough.
I went a step further and decided to actually bake it.
The girls were very excited about this rare prospect(refined sugar is not a major player in our household), and waited eagerly.
I swear to you I followed the directions.
Didn't take a rocket scientist. Just put the dough on the sheet. Put the sheet in the oven.
I was greeted within minutes by a funky smell emanating from the kitchen. The kitchen which was full of smoke.
Opening the oven revealed melted globs of cookie and some kind of fumes and charred stuff crackling in the bottom of the oven. The cookies were clearly in distress.
I shut the oven door, opened the kitchen window, and remembered why I don't bake cookies.
The end result was a lumpy mess, which the girls assured me was fanTABulous, and a really weird smelling kitchen.
I'm ok with the fact that my culinary skills are, at best, wildly unpredictable.
And have learned that there are some foods I'm just better off leaving alone.
For instance, I can intuitively create complex spaghetti sauces and pasta salads..
but have never made an edible pancake.
Or hamburger.
Things that i have been assured are NOT challenging fare.
Although it should be noted that my pancakes sometimes resemble a sort of gray Alfred Hitchcock, and I think that ought to count for something.