firsts

We have a much-loved friend who recently lost his wife to cancer, and tonight we were at his house watching fireworks. The home is totally infused, saturated, with who she was and how she lived..it's beautiful and sad. It was hard to see him there in the house they built together, surrounded by countless reminders of her.

I'm sure it was painful for him to sit on his deck with friends and watch the fireworks, for the first time without his wife.

I think it's interesting how when two people meet, fall in love, and marry -during the time when they come together, what are the sweetest moments? The 'firsts'. First conversation, first shared laugh, first date, kiss..

And when you lose someone, what are the most excruciating moments? The firsts. Every time you have realize 'this is the first time I've done this without them'.

So love is a journey of firsts. And grief is a journey of firsts.

For our friend, I wish some firsts as well:
The first time he can talk about their love without weeping
The first time he can wake up in the morning and feel right in the world she's not in anymore
The first moment of deep joy with no hint of sadness


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