happy thanksgiving

Today's family gathering felt weird to me - I've never spent a holiday without my daughters, and they are with their dad this weekend. I am happy that they will experience the normalcy of the family traditions they are used to at his grandparents' house. But it's just strange to spend Thanksgiving apart from the two things I'm most thankful for.
If you knew my daughters, you'd sense how special they are..touched by the divine, destined for lives of brilliance, spreading love and truth. You'd know that Willow is always thinking, always questioning. That she, at 4, has the beginnings of great wisdom. You'd see the vulnerability of her heart, the gift of it's tenderness and the risk of it's sensitivity to hurt. You'd be amazed by her eyes, like two perfect shining grey-green river stones. You'd know how hard these past months have been for her, and you'd weep when you couldn't make sense of it for her.
If you knew Ginger, you would laugh at how her name captures her temperment: sweet, strong, disarmingly spicy. You'd know that she is filled with passionate expression, propelling her to stormy tantrums and joyful exclamations. You would see how she captures the hearts of people everywhere she goes. You would remember the day this fall when she stood in the yard, threw her head back and commanded the wind to go where she wanted it to. You would know that she, at 2, lives expectantly, expressively, explosively.
And, if you were entrusted with the honor of being their mother, you would feel the weight of that divine responsibility, you would understand your vast shortcomings, you would beg God for wisdom equal to the task. You would know that these children will become strong, courageous, captivating women..more in spite of you than because of you. And you would be grateful to know that your body is where they were conceived, protected and nourished, brought into the world. That you got to be a vessel for these beautiful travelers. You'd pray every day,
bless them. protect them. use them.

All day long I'd biddy-biddy-bum..if I were a wealthy man!

Lately, Ginger has been getting very attached to certain films. It's old news that she's been watching Cinderella daily, and can quote nearly any part on command. Many of her musings start with,"Cinderella always says..."
But recently she fell in love with a new heroine, Eliza Doolittle. She can't watch all of it, but she begs for selected scenes from My Fair Lady, especially the horse race scene with all the ladies in their elaborate hats. "Where's Eliiiiza?" she'll ask anytime the camera cuts away from Audrey Hepburn's delicate features. She literally gasps at the part when Eliza descends the stairs in her ette gown and diamond choker, " and LOOK at her *bootiful* DRESS!". Total Awe.
Now, she's discovered Fiddler on the Roof. She loves Tevye, and watcs the first 20 minutes up until the 'Rich Man' scene with rapt attention. Right now, she and Willow are watching it and she's singing along. She likes the "Make a match-Make a match-Makuh" song best.
Willow's in more of a PBS morning medley kind of phase, and doesn't seem to be more attached to any one particular film. Start talking Arthur or Between the Lions, then you've got her attention. ;)
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If you're the praying sort, please pray for my grandpa(Papa), because he fell this morning and broke his hip. He's at Mercy for three days and then will be at the nursing home my grandma works at until he gets strong enough to lift himself. Thankfully, it won't require surgery. He had a stroke almost thirty years ago, and the years he's lived since then have been a literal miracle. The doctors didn't expect him to make it, and 90% of his frontal lobe is scar tissue. If someone is on life support, with that much brain damage, they're declared legally dead. He's been able to see his children marry, his grndchildren marry, and hold his great-grandchildren. I am reminded today that having the priveledge of growing up knowing him is one of the things I'm most deeply grateful for.
He requires alot of care, and my Grandma and Aunt Jen are tired after decades of providing it. So as you pray, please remember them as well.

Hunting for auditions

It's been over a week since I finished work on The Dread, and I am leaving no stone unturned as I search for the next job. I haunt Craigslist, ActorsAccess and AnnArborAuditions, and am scrambling to get better headshots done asap. I have said before that I want to save 10,000 before moving to LA, and I'm about one tenth of the way there. The dilemma facing me(and a similar one faces probably every actor at some point) is this: Do I take a chunk of my savings and spend it on headshots? Or save for headshots over a period of months and keep the savings account untouched?
What if I spend the money on great headshots, but for some reason I don't get more work as a result? And it takes us that much longer to get to LA?
Or, what if I *don't* get the headshots and I miss out on lots more work that would have helped my resume' and gotten us out west faster?
I'll figure it out, but today I just feel like time's wasting.
If finances weren't an issue(haha), we would move immediately. Here in Michigan, I'll be working through a temp agency and focusing on building my resume/training. In La, I'll basically be doing the same thing - and I'd rather be doing it there, where the resources and opportunities match my goals more closely. In this daydream, where money's not an issue, I'd jump at the chance to build a new life for the girls and I. We would immediately get involved with Mosaic, and start truly getting to know some of the fantastic friends I've met over the past year.

Reality: Money is a huge issue, and I have a long road ahead of me to get where we're going. I'm looking forward to the next piece of the puzzle.
Also reality: I will get there.

Moonlight Sonata

The walls of this old concrete house rumble with thunder,

This darkened room becomes illuminated with flashes of white light,

And every note of this treasured music soaks into my parched landscape like water..

The moonlight sonata feels like it's breathing, beauty and pain

blogthings.com is addictive..

Your Hidden Talent

You're super sensitive and easily able to understand situations.You tend to solve complex problems in a flash, without needing a lot of facts.Decision making is easy for you. You have killer intuition.The right path is always clear, and you're a bit of a visionary.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

www.blogthings.com

Conversations

This week, Willow and Ginger have had some really sweet conversations I've been lucky enough to overhear. One from a few days ago happened in the hallway(recently converted into the 'gallery wall' by W and G). Willow was in a creative zone, adding finishing touches to one of her pen on paper projects she had hung earlier.
Cute conversation followed:
G: Oh, YES WILLOW!! I like ramen noodles! That is a GOOD picture-those are GOOD ramen noodles! Good JOB!!

pause

W: (slightly annoyed) It's not ramen noodles.

pause

G: It's not?

W: (exhasperated) no.

G: What is it?

W: Noah and the Ark..

long pause

G: Oh ...good job!
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Less Cute , just now:

W: this is your mask
G: (runs away screaming) NOOOOOO!!! Nonononono!
--------sound of footsteps rapidly retreating----
W: Fine then. I'll wear your mask....*and* I'll keep it forever and *ever*.
----------sound of footsteps rapidly returning---------
W: Don't hit! AAAWWAWWWW!!


I think it's bedtime. :)