good news, at long last

Monday afternoon, I spent time emptying my storage unit, which I can no longer afford to keep. It was exhausting and emotional to once again place my hands on all the 'stuff' that filled our family's home before our hurried relocation last fall. Several times, beginning with the day some friends and I filled a U-HAUL van, I have forced myself to leave behind anything that doesn't really matter..
The first time was the hardest, because my first inclination was to leave *everything* behind except the contents of the girls' room, to never look back at anything that represented the life I had lost. But I knew that I was in shock, and that such a radical decision would surely be one I'd kick myself for later.
So we filled the moving van, and brought all the belongings that I thought might be important or needed to furnish a small apartment.
We never got the small apartment, so I rented storage. It turns out, I was glad I hadn't just walked away from that former life and the 'things' that populated it in one fell swoop. Over the course of the past year, I have periodically gone to the storage unit alone, and sorted through each object, saying goodbye little by little. I have taken several boxes at a time to various charities, and for the first time truly understood the value of those few things worth keeping.
Now what remains of those slow goodbye's sits in the driveway, waiting for the truck that will carry it off to ValuLand this Friday. Fully sorted through, it turns out that all the belongings that matter most fit into a few rubbermaids. The rest, enough to fill two pickup trucks, waits quietly under a tarp. Frames, linens, furniture, beads, candles, wind chimes..things endowed with the past.
Last night, like that first moving day, was painful. When Willow saw the decorations and furniture from our old house(for the first time since we lived there), she remembered much more than I thought she would. We both cried, and I held her tightly. I tried to help her understand that those things represent very good memories, and it's ok to have strong, surprising feelings when you see them..but that they are just 'things'. I hugged her and told her that we will keep all the great memories, but that we'll also make new ones. I told her that someday when we have our own apartment, we'll have so much fun finding creative ways to make it feel like home. And that the best things from that house are with us , and always will be : us.
She's only five - she may not have understood all of that..but she did understand the hug, and the shared tears, and the reassurance. I guess I was talking to both of us.

I am ready now to say farewell to the things in the driveway. And the stuff I'm still not ready to part with sits in a box, waiting to be sorted again on another day. I've come to realize that letting go of these objects entails a slow goodbye..and I'm ok with that.

Later in the evening, I received some very good news. I got the job that has been so needed, and will be starting right away! I am so deeply grateful...for progress. :)

And, by the way, for you. Thanks for reading, and caring what happens in our lives.