I still haven't found what I'm looking for......

I have always hated church-shopping...visiting different places looking for somewhere that fits whatever criteria you're looking for..usually style of music, dress, service times, whether you get 'fed'...

I'm just looking for a place where I can breathe. I don't care about what they can offer me, or how long the service is, or what style of ministry..denominations don't matter to me, and really - I'm not even that concerned with the articles of faith right now. No matter where I go right now, my mind is alert to falsehood from up front..I'm not likely to blindly embrace anything. The only criteria I have are hard to articulate. I know there needs to be unconditional acceptance of all types of people. I know I need to be surrounded by visual beauty..I would be thrilled to find someplace that felt like being at Lake Michigan; sunlight streaming through windows, shadows bouncing off walls open my senses for worship and contemplation. And the hardest thing to explain is..the way a place feels when I am there:

Can I breathe?

I'm sure that sometime, soon maybe, the things I'm looking for on Sunday morning will change. As I change. But at present, this is what I am trying to find. Most of the time, when the weather's nice, I've just been alone outside, near water. When the weather's adverse, I've visited different churches each week, usually four or five in a morning, usually not getting past the parking lot or foyer before feeling too..squeezed.


Someone is playing 'fur elise' on the coffee shop's piano, and it took minutes for me to become aware of it..when we were young, that piece filled our house at all hours, spilling from the determined fingertips of my sister..the notes are woven into me like a tapestry as a result..so when I hear it somewhere, I often don't notice at first. It just evokes a feeling of peace and remembrance, followed by a fond thought of my sister, followed by the realization that the song is being played.

What music does that to you?