Today was a strange tipsy-turvy thing. This morning I awoke to another day of partial blindness, at ten a.m....way later than my normal rising time which spun the day off a bit wierd.
Then, mid-morning the hot water heater began seeping all over the laundry room floor, and through a series of phone calls and a gracious visit by uncle keith, the diagnosis was clear: we need a new hot water heater, like, now.
Meanwhile, it became clear that my glasses and contacts would not be arriving in the mail today, which meant two more days of being stranded/trapped/blind/needy...so I began tracking down a place to get emergency glasses made (underline *cheap*)..
Found a place, but it was all the way in Grand Rapids. And I couldn't drive there because I couldn't even see my toes when I looked down.
An hour later, mom decided it would be a good idea for her to crawl under the house and turn off the water valve under the laundry room so the heater will stop leaking. Laying on her stomach peering through the mailbox-sized opening into the darkness while I kept guard, she decided it was less of a good idea.
My amazing friend Carma came straight from work, borrowed a great sweater which looked so much better on her( a cool soft green with her almost-black hair..striking), and drove me to Grand Rapids while I tried to apply makeup blind. Just because I can't see anyone doesn't mean they can't see me, I thought..is this eyeliner or lipliner??
Back up. When Carma came to get me we had to fly out the door to get to the eye place in time, as the sink spontaneously decided to join the water heater in the household revolt, springing a major leak and spewing water all over the kitchen floor...
At the eye place, a nice guy helped me find great 'smart girl don't mess with me' glasses very quickly. As he typed my address into the computer, he stopped, stunned. I live like three houses from there!, he said. Wow, he's got a long drive to work every day..
While Carma and I waited, we had a deep talk about life and our insecurities in the mall food court. Then we listened to a guy playing his guitar and singing, not a mall musician guy, the kind you'd hear in a smoky club in Chicago or Seattle..he sounded alot like Lenny Kravitz. With mall noise in the background, very unsettling..
On the way home Carma and I stopped at Krispy Kreme and imbibed. I had a coupon for a box of doughnuts and she touched *all* of them to see which one she wanted. I was incredulous, and we both laughed hard enough to burn off the calories from the doughnuts.
Once home, I took some Thera Flu to help with the crummy cold I'm fighting..but it made me feel very strange and not better, and definitely wired.
I got ready for bed, washed my hair in brain-numbingly cold water, and thought about how grateful I was to be able to see, and as I stood at the bathroom sink I glanced down at the drain, thinking how improbable and silly it was for me to drop a brand new contact down the drain. How stuff like this always seems to happen to me.
Then I took off my new glasses, and reached into the medicine cabitnet for my face wash. My hand bumped something as I pulled out the cleanser, and in slow motion I followed it's descent, hands grasping air, as my toothbush tumbled neatly down the drain.
I literally fell to the floor in hysterical laughter. My mom could not believe it - she helped me get it back and made a new rule: if I am in the bathroom, the plug must be in the sink.
Because I am not a normal girl, and normal things do not happen to me.

">Link