Tomorrow I have an audition for a video training series produced by an adoption agency nearby.. that, coupled with several other conversations in as many days, has my heart really tuned in to our own story..
Last year we decided to add to our family by adopting a child, and that dream has been delayed mainly because of financial issues. I know that the timing hasn't been right yet anyway, but I still have this odd feeling of unrest. When we decided to adopt, my heart grew another chamber for this child; somehow it feels as if a child has been conceived, but we have no idea how long the gestation will be or how to overcome the hurdles between us and that 'birth'. So, at night when I tuck my girls in and feel the wash of gratefulness for their safety and closeness... I'm not totally at ease. Because I have this distinct sense that one of my children is not home yet, and so many of my prayers and so much of my love is devoted to this child who has been conceived in my heart, whose name I don't know; and I ache for the first night I can tuck in my children and know that all of them are here, home, close.
So this audition means more to me than any other I've done before..because although our hope is deferred for now, I may yet have a chance to be a part of preparing other hopeful families together with their adopted children. And that would be a gift from God to this mom.
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