Tired after my 1st 2 days

My first two days at the clinic have been really exhausting, but good. It was weird to show up and be directly plugged into the schedule of a mini culture that I had no real preparation for. Talking about intensely personal issues with people you've never met is just.....Weird. The good news is, Day 2 was less weird because, I *had* met them. I'm glad I made the choice to go through this, but I had no idea how exhausting it would be. Plus, I guess I had this idea that I'd be there throughout the week ,come home on the weekends, and *do* all the stuff I always do. I was surprised when, after coming home tonight, I really just wanted to rest.

There are people there from all walks of life, all ages, with every type of problem imaginable. Before, I struggled a little with this sarcastic, resistant view of "group therapy" - all the exposure I've had is through the movies, and we all know funny they make it seem. The thing is, it's not like that. I walked into this group of people, and I can't view them that way now that I see the reality:
They are *real* people, hurting desperately, all of them struggling(some of them for their lives). They are startlingly honest and transparent(a breath of fresh air in a way)...And it's just *not* funny. So, having shed the sarcasm, I actually think I'll get a lot out of this type of counseling.
The counselor assigned to me is a follower of Christ, a genuine person, and easy to understand - that is a relief to me, since I have to spend a lot of time with and put trust in this person.
I've been concretely diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder/panic disorder. This sounded pretty scary until I was shown the research:
17% of Americans are diagnosed with some form of panic disorder each year.
That's almost 1 in 5.
Number of people who have ever died from a panic attack: None. Ever.

There are several things that could have caused this for me, and next week we'll be investigating those possible factors. I'll update next weekend when I am home, unless my laptop gets fixed before then so I can have it with me at the hotel.
Until then, you all have my
love.
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